You Might Be Parenting a Five-Year Old If...

1...your sweet child does an exhausting high-step OVER the object he/she was sent to look for, and still has the energy to turn and shout, "I CAN'T see it, Mom!"

2...your 5-year old's attitude is turning 15 on their next birthday.

3...when looking at your child, you are not sure where the mirror came from. Mini-me has you pegged...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

4...your child has a lightening fast brain...and tongue. While still trying to explain the answer to the first question, your child fires off another question...on a subject not even closely related.

5...your child loves your more than anything in the world. Your child would walk to China on his/her elbows and lips, just to please you.

6...you are worm spit, and getting your child to be happy doing anything would require a bribe that puts all other bribes to shame...or a cattle prod.

7...you have to follow your child around with a pen and paper, afraid you will miss the incredibly hilarious stuff flowing from their ever-expanding brains.

8...if it has been necessary to set up a "bad words" jar...and it's for you.

9...your child is a sponge, literally soaking up every learning opportunity this wonderful world could throw at him/her.

10...when asked why he/she didn't do what you just asked him/her to do, they shoot you the "I haven't the foggiest idea what you are talking about, lady. I don't speak Cantonese", look.

11...your child exhibits worrisome hearing abilities when asked to do anything erring a little on the side of "not fun".

12...your child possesses bionic hearing capabilities when you open a candy wrapper, under a pillow, three rooms away, through two shut doors.

13...Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde are not unfamiliar science fiction characters anymore; "they" reside down the hall, and have just been asked to make "their" bed.

14...if the dial of your child's volume knob has been broken, while set on Maximum.

15...your child accomplishes amazing things everyday.

16...you can still get away with kisses...in public...from Mom. Hand-holding is still cool, as well.

17...their "pleases" and "thank-yous" nearly melt your heart.

18..."Whine" is a regular beverage at your house.

19...playing tag with your high and endless energy child causes a collapsed lung and paralysis for a week.

20...their "I love yous", as you put them to bed at night, erase any mis-steps, bumps, or mishaps of the day. Almost.


My 5-year old is amazing. How does yours add up? ;)