"And...it's a MISS!"

Yesterday, I was in my bathroom drying my hair when I called Chase in for a motivational pep talk. You know the one. The speech that we parents feel compelled to deliver, in between every teenie, tiny, itty, bitty, little piece of instruction...in hopes of keeping the child on task...free from distraction. When I saw that Chase had arrived, I gave him his instructions over the hum of my hair fryer, while bent over in the "attempting-to-add-more-body-to-my-lifeless-hair" position. I didn't make actual eye contact with my one-person pep rally until I turned off the dryer and flipped up.
Knowing full well that this blow-drying ritual makes my quaff explode to the point of rivaling a 1980's troll doll pencil topper after a complete twist cycle, I tried to channel the funny kid who resides on Chase's humorous side. I looked at my gawking son and went fishing for compliments. I asked,

"What do you think? Do I look pretty?"

After a little smirk and a little eye roll, Chase turned and walked away, just shaking his head. I heard his little voice trailing out of the bedroom, as if in a last ditch effort to save his crazy mom,

"You have to look IN the mirror, Mom."

I missed...by a long shot.