What Did You Just Say?

The other day, I was downstairs for a quick second. I heard a scamper of feet, then a toilet flushing. Then I found myself, using my high-pitched, "I'm the Mother of the Year" voice, exclaiming,

"Did you just go pee IN the TOILET!? Thank you, buddy! Good job!

After Chase issued a very proud "yup" and a "you're welcome", I literally stopped in my tracks. Did I just thank my son for using a toilet? Did I really just have to praise my son for peeing INSIDE? Why am I thanking him for doing something that should have been the norm? And where does he get off with that sweet, innocent "You're welcome", sounding so triumphant?
Did he paint the Sistene Chapel, or finally heed my threatenings and choose to come inside to go pee, for what I think might be the first time all summer?

I finally busted up laughing. I laughed at the ridiculous things that I have found myself saying since talking on this job called "Mom". I have decided that it comes with the territory, especially where boys are concerned. I am sure it won't get better any time soon. I am sure it will even get worse. But for now, I will just file it away with the other crazy things I've heard myself say...things like,

"No, Chase, kidnappers don't know what you like to eat, nor do they care."

and

"If you are going to lick your feet, you might as well lick the floor."

Chase just met his kindergarten teacher at Back to School night. At the end of the year, we'll compare notes on the things we have found coming out of our mouths. I can't be sure, but I think she might win.