If You Feed Your Child Breakfast...

If you feed your child breakfast, chances are you will open your fridge to get milk and you will see strawberry juice on the shelf in the fridge.

Then you will have to wipe it off, of course after you take EVERYTHING out of the fridge and clean the whole thing.

Then, of course, you will have to wipe the water that you sloshed on the stainless steel front, deciding that it would actually be better if you just polished the whole thing.

Then, you look over and see finger prints on the microwave and think that it would be prudent to polish that as well, AND the oven, but only after you clean both of them first.

You would probably want to polish the dishwasher, but would rethink that, thinking that it would be better to do the dishes first so water doesn't slosh on the freshly polished washer.

As you grab dishes to throw in the dishwasher, you take note that the sink needs a good Comet scrub. As you load the last of the dishes you notice that all of the plates in the plate rack are nasty dusty, so you invite your son to help you load all of those special plates.

Then, you would notice that the decorative plate rack is nasty dusty too, so you would grab a barely damp rag and dust it, only to think that it would be a good idea if you did the entire kitchen cabinets, momentarily forgeting that your husband is a master cabinet maker, and there are a lot of cabinets.

As you round the corner to dust the secretary that houses all of your "stuff", you would see that it is spilling over with junk mail that needs be shredded, so you invite your son and friend to have a hay day with the shredder.

Then, on one of your trips to the garbage from cleaning out the secretary, you would notice that the garbages stink and need a cleaning, so you would probably clean out the garbage cans and the garbabe cabinet.

Of course you would use the faucet extender to fill the cans, losing control of the faucet, sending water spraying everywhere.

You would need to dry the blinds and windows above the sink, thinking it would be an efficient idea to windex the window, while you are there, of course.

Then, you would remove all of the knick knacks and stuff from the granite counter tops so you could dry your water explosion, and you would want to polish the granite.

As you put the polish away, you round the corner and see that the boys are done with their shredding and the floor now needs to be swept.

Then, as you are sweeping the floor, you realize that you are sweating profusely, so you go open a window in the family room, only to be sad that you are looking through such dirty windows.

As you wash the family room windows, you step outside to do the outside ones, and see that,

NO WAY!!! CLOSE YOUR EYES AND WALK BACK INSIDE!!

Then you notice that the valances above the family room windows are riddled with dust and spider webs, so you take them down and go into the laundry room, noticing that the tile floor in there feels like the sandbox outside, so you would mop the floor.

FOUR hours, pruny hands, a gallon of sweat, and one CLEAN kitchen later...

your son is hungry and needs to eat lunch.

The moral of the story: eat at McDonald's