Irony

Irony is funny when you are on the "ha, ha" side of it. Irony is hilarious when it helps you to prove a point, helps you win an argument, and just plain old makes you right.

Irony never really is very funny when you are on the receiving end.

What I find ironic is that we opted out of morning kindergarten because Chase is not a morning kid. We were dragging him out of bed at 9:45 AM to get him to swimming lessons at 10 AM. He would sleep from 8 PM to 9-10 AM. This kid could sleep.

We decided we would like him to be alert, and pleasant, for his first year of school. Therefore, afternoon kindergarten. We could wake up at our leisure, have a pleasant morning, walk to school in decent weather...all that good stuff.

So, here's the irony. Chase has not slept in once since school has started. He has been up between 7 and 8 AM every morning. He has been falling asleep around 9:30-10 PM every night.

Oh, I know. There is not one tear falling for me. I know. I can hear all of the laughter from my well-meaning friends and family who have long been jealous of my good sleeper, and all of the free time for the good sleeper's mom.

Just don't laugh so hard you hurt yourself, 'cause then I will laugh at you for laughing at me. Then, the irony is on my side again...and I win. Hehehehehehe

Balm

One of my favorite kinds of balm, is Bag Balm. It is my favorite beauty secret. You rub it on your feet, then cover them with socks. Oohh. It is fabulous. I have baby soft feet, even in the summer. Funny thing though, you generally find it in the pet section.

Lip balm. I don't like lip balm. It leaves a yucky taste in my mouth.

But my most favorite balm of all: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir's CD, Consider the Lillies. It is the most amazing balm for the soul. If you have never listened to it, I highly suggest you do. The music itself can take your breath away. But the words. Oh, the words. They are like bandaids for your sadness, trials and tribulations. I have had my ward choir sing 6 of the tracks, with two more in the wings. I love, love, love it.

Music is powerful. Good music is healing. It is no wonder the Lord has said, "My soul delighteth in the song of the heart, yea, the song of the righteous is a prayer unto me." (Doctrine and Covenants 25:12)

Inflation Hits the Tooth Fairy

This is supposed to be a before and after set of pictures. Chase's tooth was so loose that it was "leaning" over into his other tooth. It left a gap big enough that they both look like after pictures. Bleck!!

I have been bracing for this since he popped his first tooth at 6.5 months. I can do blood, poop, guts and bones, spit up and barf (from my own son, of course...if it was your child, you would get a more adverse reaction). But for some reason, wiggly-waggly teeth turns my knees to jello. As a teacher, I had many a kindergartener, 1st grader and 2nd grader come excitedly up to me, shout a "guess what", then proceed to move around a dangling tooth with their tongue. Shudder. Shudder. It would seriously cause a ripple of the willies up and down my spine. Eeeewwweeuuu.

Chase's first loose tooth first came loose way back in May. Fate has been kind. I have had all of these months to gird my loins and buck up. Last Friday, neither one of us could take it any more. I convinced myself that if there was a thick layer of something between myself and the tooth, it would be less painful...for both of us. So, I grabbed a huge wad of toilet paper, reached in and made a half-hearted attempt. Take two went better...and out it came. Not one tear fell! Chase handled it really well also.

The obvious reward is a visit from the Tooth Fairy. I have always wanted to be a totally grounded mother who believed that since I got a quarter as a child, my child should get a quarter. Didn't happen. The T.F ended up being pretty generous. After all, she is helping to "pay" for his mission. All increase of any kind has a percentage that goes in the mission jar. Loot from this little pixie is no exception.

My little jack-o-lantern starter came in the next morning, grinning like a Cheshire cat, quietly holding 2 one dollar bills. After he could wrap his sleepy brain around his treasure, he humbly said,

"I can't believe the Tooth Fairy gave me TWO DOLLARS! I was only expecting a quarter or something! She must really like me, cause I got TWO DOLLARS!!"

Dang. The Tooth Fairy overpaid. But you got that right, Chase. The Tooth Fairy likes you a whole bunch.

Puppy Pepper Pics

I am finally getting around to getting the pictures off of my camera. We have had a big week and are finally starting to get to the things on our lists!

We think Pepper is a pretty cute puppy, most of the time. The honeymoon is ending, sadly. Chase has already begun to think of her as the obnoxious little sister that knocks over your sand castle and messes with your toys. I have had to remind him that the discipline sounds and words that we use for her are for things like digging under the fence and eating the phone...things like that...NOT for being the unwanted playmate in the backyard.

Jeff has decided to nip some of her bad behaviors. He has turned the hose on her when she digs under the fence and eats my daylillies. She is a quick study. She has completely stopped both behaviors. I am asking Jeff to install an extension on my kitchen sink hose. There are a few behaviors that I would like to take care of...inside...with the puppy's boy.

This picture is through the screen. I wanted to capture this moment without being detected. We have been out in our PJ's this whole week to play with her. Our morning routine has really suffered.

This one...well...what do you say. My mom likes to frequently remind me of a bad habit from us kids when we were growing up. She says that the second she got on the phone, we were in the chocolate chips. Pavlov had something there. This is what my little boy did when I got on the phone one day. And, to put all of you germ-a-phobes at ease, the bed was still unused.

A little update on the nerve front. No progress made as of yet. I took Pepper out in the front yard today. She walked off while I was busy talking and ended up in the yard of another neighbor. Their dogs got out and came bearing down on us with all sirens wailing. It scared Pepper so bad, she peed. I can neither confirm, nor deny, that maybe I did, too.

Pepper

I have pictures to post, but my camera is out in the car, in the garage, with a sleeping puppy. No thanks!

Well, we named the puppy Pepper. Her mom's name is Sage. So, it only made sense that we wanted her name to be a spice name as well. Pepper is a mainly black German short-hair, with gray and white and black smears...that look like pepper. Oh, we are a clever bunch.

Pepper is seriously the cutest and sweetest puppy. She would have to be for me to be this insane. This is a pretty BIG adjustment for me to alter my entire lifestyle and nature! Her breed, by nature, is very smart and easily trainable. Leave it to me to fall in love with the type of dog that can easily be bossed around. I wasn't born yesterday.

We spent our first day with her literally every second, finding out what destruction she would ensue on our virgin back yard. Within an hour, we had her trained to not eat my flowers and leave the shoes alone. Now, if we could only train her to pooh in the dirt. We are getting pretty good with a shovel.

I (and this shouldn't surprise any of you) mother a puppy, much the same as I mother Chase; over protective, dramatically, and with plenty of guilt. Friday, our first day with her, she was hit by a bicycle. Sunday, she got her head royally wedged under the fence, while trying to get into her old yard. Monday, Jeff stepped on her pretty good. We thought her leg was actually broken. Neighbors, I am so sorry for all of the yelping you have had to endure these past couple of days. I will try to suffer more silently in the future.

Chase has really enjoyed Pepper. He still wakes up and wanders outside first thing. I keep catching him muttering, "I can't believe we have a puppy!" The feeling is mutual, kid.

I am by nature, pretty scared of dogs. Even poodles and little yappers full of fur can get a rise out of me. I had enough bad experiences in the mission field to seal the deal. This is a huge step for me to enter this world. I still have a lot to learn...and a few nerves to grow. Sunday, Chase and I took Pepper for a walk. Well, a "drag", maybe. She is still getting used to a leash. Our neighbor's dogs started charging us. Sadly, my first thought was literally,

"Here!! Eat the puppy...but LET ME LIVE!!"

Like I said, I am a work in progress. At least she knows I think she is pretty cute. I am the only one she wants when she gets hurt. We have had a lot of practice with this in 4 short days. I instinctively rock her back and forth. She nestles her head under my chin, or on my shoulder, and lets her yelping turn to a whimper. Then her whimper turns to a low murmur, which then turns into a sigh. It is seriously heart melting. I have been whooped by these puppies since they were born. Pepper is the runt of the bunch. It would be nice if she would stay this small and cuddly forever. My wish didn't work on Chase. I don't think it will work on her either.

The only reasons that we have been able to survive our transition into puppy-dog-dom, are the facts that she is so stinkin' cute...and she is kennel trained. Our neighbors did a great job with this. Pepper instinctively wants her kennel at about 9 pm. She nestles in there and stays there, clean and dry, and without a peep (or a poop), until 7 am. Her kennel is in the garage, which also helps my insanity level.

Well, that is Pepper. Does that help answer all of your questions? Does it raise any? Like, seriously, why doesn't someone rescue that poor thing? Don't worry, I will be okay in a few weeks.

Pictures to come. I hope. The first time I turned a camera on her, she tried it out as a chew toy and ripped a hole in my pajamas. Chase asked if we should take her back and buy a different one. I had to explain to him that we have to be patient with her and help her learn. She is only a puppy and doesn't know better yet. I further explained that if we wanted to exchange something just because it made a mistake, he wouldn't be here right now. I just let him chew on that one for a while.

Forecast...

Pigs will fly out the window. An unidentified someone will trapse over my dead body. A thin layer of ice soon to form in Pergatory. "No Way" Jose, will become a "Yes Man". A million years will fly by in the blink of an eye.

Any other phrases, blanket statements or idioms that mean NEVER, NEVER, NEVER??!!




We got a puppy today.



Forcast for tomorrow...



we eat crow.

Reality Check

Just so you don't think my son a perfect angel, spilling niceties, with loves and kisses at me all the time, let me tell you what he said the other day. Oh, don't get me wrong. He is pretty sweet. He makes his adoration for his mom known frequently. Children are prone to innocent honesty. This comment, however, stopped me dead in my tracks;

"Mom, do you think your tummy is so fat that you probably can't even see your toes? Can you see your toes, Mom?"

Can you see your next birthday coming up, bub? Did you see it vanish right before your eyes? Gone, I tell ya. No birthday for you this year.

And for your information, Mr. Missing-His-6th-Birthday-This-Year, not only can I see my toes, but I can touch them. I removed my toe nail polish, then clipped and filed them. Oh, it wasn't pretty, mind you. I pulled muscles found only by body builders, and gave myself a charlie horse that hurt something fierce. I am pretty sure I was close to passing out due to oxygen deprivation, since I was finding it hard to breath and bend at the same time. And, I am sure the noises coming out of my bathroom window rivaled all sounds that have led to a phone call to 9-1-1. But, I did it. I pedicured my supposedly out-of-sight, and nearly out-of-reach toenails. It wasn't all to prove to my innocently precocious 5 year old that I could. But just a bit.

It all ended alright, however. Today, Chase wrote my fresh toenails and I, a very cute "I Love You", complete with a heart that he drew. I am even thinking of reinstating his birthday. We will have to wait and see if he decides to get "honest" with me again.