Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Name Your Neurosis

Here is just a little insight to what is me. I like evens. I like even numbers. I like even numbers of things.

I don't really have anything to post. However, my total of posts for the year 2009 was sitting at 147. That was unacceptable. So, now we have hit 148. Good enough.

Happy New Year!

Which, by the way, is an even number.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Elfin Around

There are some seriously creative people out in the world. I sure do appreciate all of the hard work that so many people put into being so smart and talented. I appreciate, even more, that I can glean from this hard work, making my cuteness and abilities seem so effortless. Sigh. Thank you. Seriously.

One of those amazingly talented people that I "borrow" from quite frequently, is my friend Melanie. A while back, she posted about a friend who had given her the idea of an elf coming to visit them in their home. It is there, of course, to spy on the make sure that they are being good, in hopes that he can make a positive report back to the big guy in red. The elf is tricky, though. It doesn't want to be seen. So, if you stare at it, it turns to stone. Clever.

The idea of a small inanimate object in my home having the power to cause near perfect behavior, sounded a little fun to me. And, for the most part, simple enough.

Some of the fun stuff caused by this Christmas visitor?

1. Chase was sooooo stinkin' cute about being so lucky as to be receiving a visit from such a distinguished guest.

2. He really turned on the charm. He was as good as gold.

3. Chase helped me feel like a kid again, seeing the magic of Christmas as a child, through his eyes.

4. He received a little, itty-bitty note of farewell and warm wishes from the elf with the overactive schnoz, when his tour of duty came to an end.

5. From what I hear, Chase was quite the celebrity at school, having "seen" an elf.

Some of the less-than-positives?

1. I was running out of creative places for our elf-on-stakeout to go.

2. Chase was a little rattled when the elf dared make a hiding spot on the shelf in his bedroom. A little too spooky for my Christmas kid, I guess. Luckily, the elf was a quick study and never entered the "inner sanctum" again.

3. I was constantly improvising with the rules of engagement, especially after I got caught reaching to grab the sensitive sprite (after Chase recovered from his shock, the fun resumed and all was well. Silly, Mom).

4. My nerves were shot having to endure the pressure of not getting caught.

So, I am not sure how long the little guy was able to reside in Melanie's house. He only lasted 5 hours in ours. I quickly came to realize, however, that the short visit from this little squirt had had a big impact on MY little squirt when,

1. Chase's friend came upstairs to report that Chase really missed the elf and was downstairs crying.

2. In his letter to Santa, Chase asked if the elf could come back and visit next year.

Ah, such good intentions. I think for next year, to take the pressure off of everyone, I am going to borrow yet another friend's creativity. At her house, elves are invisible to children.

Hope you all had a fabulously Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Every Party Needs a Pooper


This post may, or may not contain some material suited, or not suited for all ears. It's content may, or may not be appropriate for public viewing. I may, or may not...completely care.


At the end of the day, on Chase's birthday, he and I were in his room admiring all of his fun birthday gifts from his friends. We settled on a race track that needed some assembly and sticker adornment. In the midst of our accessorizing the race track, Chase announced that he needed to take a visit to the powder room, and Mom, why don't you finish putting the stickers on that one part while I am gone.

To my joy, Chase left the door open while on the pot, enabling us to have quite the conversation while he took care of things. We chatted about his day, how it was the best birthday party ever. We shared excitement over his new toys and what wonderful friends he had who had gifted them to him. Oh, we had a lovely conversation. We have such a wonderfully open and communicative relationship, lofting the ability to share everything with each other. And I do mean, EVERYTHING.

As he was "wrapping" things up, it was very happily noted, to me, that this was the second time that day that he had gone "number two".

"Oh, yeah?" I answered back, with enthusiastic supportive tones, not wanting to underestimate the joy with which this news had been delivered.

"Yeah! It's 'cause today is my birthday! It's my lucky day!"

It warms my heart that such blessed things are not wasted on this kid. His silver lining is never really far from his grasp.

Is it your lucky day today?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

One Year Older and Wiser, Too

Wow. Have I taken a long enough vacation from the blogging world? I humbly apologize to my adoring followers (choke, choke, sputter, sputter) for my oh-so-long absence. It's December, you know. Lots 'o stuff happens in December. Just in case you didn't know. ;)

It's several days late now, but here goes anyway.

Happy Birthday, Jeffy!

I am not sure who looks the happiest about the birthday bash. Maybe cute baby Wade, I am thinking. Or, maybe it's that handsome boy that has leaped onto the counter, ready to pounce on the cinnamon rolls with the two meager candles stuck in them.

Anywhoo, happy birthday, Jeffy-poo. We sure think you are great. Thank you for everything you do for us. Here's to fortpphmphmmphhpmmhpmph more birthdays!

And, thanks for not wanting a realistic Harley Davidson cake for your birthday. I am not THAT talented!

Monday, December 14, 2009

If I Knew Then What I Know Now...

...I probably wouldn't do anything different. Would you?

I still can't believe that I have fallen victim to being the owner of a puppy. I have frequent reality checks. So it begs the question, would I take it all back? Good question. I really do quite like her. I can't admit that without taking some serious flack. But, I do.

Here are some interesting things that I have learned about our puppy:

When I start hollering at Chase, Pepper takes it, too. She slinks off to a kitchen mat and puts her head down. Pretty efficient use of my time, I think. Two birds with one stone.

She gets to stay up super late with me, 'cause she doesn't talk...or ask for things.

Collars make good handle bars.

She is very loyal and loves you, no matter what. That's a pretty good deal. We often have to dish her a whole lot of "what".

When she wants in, she sings a staccato S.O.S at the back door. She is a little bit of a sissified tweety bird.

She has the same hearing as a six-year old. She feigns challenged hearing, when in her favor. When I rustle plastic, it wakes the "dead".

The term "puppy dog eyes" is not a misnomer.

The phrase "a boy and his dog", has new meaning for me.

At the end of the day, when all is said and done, and she snuggles on you and falls asleep, all of the "are you kidding me" moments fade away and you are pretty happy.

So, I guess this officially makes me one of "those". What can I say. If you really knew Pepper, I think you'd even like her, too. You might even forgive her for eating your garden shoe. She might even have you doing things that you swore you would never do. No, I am not talking about letting your dog lick off your ice cream cone. I will sell the dog and wash my mouth out with soap if I ever stoop to that. No, I am not one of "those". I am taking about posting pictures of her on my blog. I figure I have already incriminated myself by dedicating a whole post on her, I might as well post the evidence. At least I am not carrying any pictures of her in my purse. Heaven help me if I become one of "those".
Chase really loves his puppy. He is very protective of her. He has even forgiven her for accidently scratching his nostil when she accidently got her claw stuck up it. Chase gave her a little Rudolph toy. She has fallen in love with it.
Well, we sure like you, Pepper. At least for now, you are in good standing with your people.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Can't Buy Me Love

Here is how much Chase doesn't like a home hair cut performed by Mom; he was willing to shell out the money from his own wallet.

When I dropped the bombshell on my poor son that the taming of his quaff would have to be performed by Edwina Scissorhand and her trusty weed whacker, he asked the inevitable question,


I politely had to remind him that money doesn't grow on trees...just cuz there's checks doesn't mean there's money...and all of the other great cliches we had drilled in our heads and promised we would never drill in our own children's heads.

Chase was so intent on not having to have his mom butcher his lovely hair, that he decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and pay for a professional do with his own carefully saved money. I smiled at his generosity and assured him that that wasn't necessary.

With one final attempt to grasp one final straw to be able to save himself 10 unnecessary minutes in the torture chamber, he asked,

"When is Dad going to pay you anyway, Mom?"

Friday, December 11, 2009

Out of This World, Out of My Mind, Out of Control, With a Whole Lot of Love

The theme that we chose for Chase's b-day this year was Outer Space. I only tell you that in case you missed the not-so-subtle hint from my last post. Chase has always had a passion for the planets and all things stellar. It seemed such a perfect way to celebrate his special day.

So, the "out of my mind" bit? We invited 16 guests. I was not the least bit worried about it. We have had some not-so-hot luck with his parties in years past. Less than 50% of those invited are able to come. Wouldn't you know it. Not this year. Yikes! It was a little crazy, to say the least. Fitting, though. My house was filled with all sorts of aliens for the better part of two hours.

The aliens lined up in the hallway, waiting to have a whack at the rocket filled with goodies.

Opening the loot. At first, I didn't even give this aspect a second thought. A lot of guests equals a lot of gifts. Gulp. That was a lot of toys.

Chase and I decorated the "space station" with Styrofoam ball planets, painted by Chase, and Cheerio moons, painted by Mom. We spare no expense here.

Dad made "Bob" for Chase's newly made-over room. "Bob" looked way different in my mind when Jeff said he was making Chase a "homemade" birthday gift this year. I should have remembered that while my medium is toilet paper rolls and Elmer's glue, Jeff's might be a little more upscale. All he got from me was a pillow and pillow case. Nice, Mom.

So what is so out of control? Six years, people. How is my baby six years old? It both thrills me, and breaks my heart. I want time to slow down. I want my baby to stay my baby forever. I want him to stay in my safe bubble forever. But, in the same token, it is so amazing to watch him grow. He is such spectacular boy. I just want to eat him. He is funny, sweet, smart, kind, and full of surprises. I am soooooo glad that I get to be his mom. Every day is an adventure with this sweet pea.

He lives life with gusto. All day on his b-day, he would snap back into reality and say, "I'm a birthday boy today! I can't believe today is my birthday!"

Funny side note. After Chase opened his first gift from one of his best buddies of 5 and a half years, I quietly prompted Chase by asking, "What do you say, Chase?" Chase stood frozen while staring at his newly opened treasure. He was finally able to eek out a,

"Oh, Tayden, I LOVE you!"

I was actually thinking a simple thank you would have been sufficient. Whatever works for you, buddy.

It is with a whole lot of love, that I say, "Well, done, Chase!" We sure love you, Son, and are so proud of you. We are in awe of the amazing person that you are. We can't wait to see what the next 6 years will bring!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Preview of Greatness

Well, I did it again. I took another stab at another birthday cake. I am getting braver in my old age.

But this time? This time...I out did myself. There will be no modest humility here. Nope. I am quite proud of this cake. This is some serious birthday cake. I used fondant, for crying out loud. It takes some seriously dedicated nerves of steel to make and use fondant. Yup, that's me. Nerves of steel. giggle giggle giggle

So, go ahead and tell me how wonderful it is. I can take it.

And, go ahead and be extra impressed that the "planets" are in the right order. That is, if you could tell what planets they are. Okay, I take that back. Don't scrutenize. Just be impressed!

Note the purplish-grey nebulas. They are appropriately
placed to hide the tears in the fondant.

Note the adorable mop-top birthday boy. He was pretty excited about his day. That is, until SuperMom demoted herself to JustPlainMom by announcing that Mom was going to be giving him a haircut before school. She is not nearly as talented as the girls that spoil him at Great Clips. Just a lot cheaper.

Birthday post still to come. I have decided to do Chase's birthday bash in segments. I have been told that my posts are painfully long. Ouch.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

"I Lived in Heaven a Long Time Ago...

...where I drove a car and swam in a pool". At least according to Chase.

I was imparting my pearls of wisdom upon my child, in the form of a story from my past. Chase asked a question that I have been hearing from him a lot lately.

"Was I there when that happened?"

I mentioned to him that this story took place way before he was ready to be born. He said,

"Oh, yeah! That's right. That's when I was in heaven driving my car and swimming in the pool."

"Really?" I asked. "Was that fun or what!?

"Yeah, it was really fun. I would drive my car around for a while. Then I would be ready to swim, so I would jump in the deep end."

"Really? And you weren't scared without an adult being there with you?"

"No, Jesus was there with us. We weren't scared at all".

Monday, December 7, 2009

Gotta Be Prepared

Last week, before the snow had fallen, Chase was inside being the best helper ever. He was taking my long list of chores and jobs like a champ. Imagine his excitement when I told him that the next and last job I needed him to do was to go outside and play with Pepper. He readily agreed. I then heard a lot of shuffling in the laundry room. I finally decided to investigate why it's necessary to rearrange a coat locker on the way out the door to play with a puppy.

"Well, Mom, you have to be prepared."

Prepared for what, I am not sure. I guess, then, that I am feeling quite relieved that a baby rhino didn't make it onto our list of pet choices. I am also quite satisfied knowing that when the excited puppy runs up and down Chase's cute face, dirt won't get in his eyes.

Friday, December 4, 2009


The week before Thanksgiving, Jeff and I cleaned out our closet. We took 8 bags of clothes and one bag of toys to DI. I have one more bag that has been filled since. Now that is some serious baggage.

Included in the goodies headed to DI, were all of my not-so-skinny pants. Here is what those pants look like held up to me now:

Now, before I show you the picture of me being brave enough to drop the pants, please remember a few things. Firstly, my photographer. He may be the cutest 5 year old with a camera, but he has a ticklish funny bone. This whole thing was cracking him up, making his attention to detail a little hazy. So, not the best pictures ever. Lastly, I am hestitant in doing this now because I am only half way through the race. I have lost 58 pounds, but still have 55 more to go. I feel fabulous. I am THRILLED with how I look and feel. BUT, I do have a journey left to travel.





These pictures crack me up. I was trying to do the "Ta da! Look at me now!" pose. But our timing was so off. I would stand there posed and posed and posed. Chase would giggle and giggle and squirm. By the time the picture would snap, I was exiting pose and beginning a lecture. So, you get what you pay for, I guess!

We'll see what we have learned by the end of the race, in another 6 months!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

No Silly-Yak, Just a Silly Boy

We are having a Gluten Celebration at our house tonight!

Long story short, Chase is officially not a celiac (someone who cannot eat gluten, in any shape or form). He has been through three blood draws over the last 5 weeks to figure out what anomalies have been happening in Chase's poor body. All sorts of scary possibilities have been thrown out at us one at a time, then alleviated one at a time. We have had a couple of hold-your-breath moments. The last hurdle was a one final blood draw to retest a previous test that had come out positive for celiac. The pediatric gastrointerologist in S.L. just called this morning to say that she is not sure why, but his levels are normal this time. I feel a little bad in saying this, but


I am not a big fan of cooking. I use my crock pot for a reason. I don't do well stressing over dinner from 4:30 to 6 pm. I am not good at it. Then, make me have to be extra creative? I was really holding my breath about this whole thing. Oh, and, uh, I was feeling bad for Chase, too. He has been in an early stage of mourning for each of his favorite foods that were discovered to have gluten.

Since he was supposed to have gluten in his system for all of the tests, we have maintained our gluten-full diet. On the way home from SL after our visit to the pediatric GI, we stopped at the Chuck E. Cheese. None of us had ever frequented this childhood dream spot before. We were literally trying to get the best of gluten while we still had the chance. When we walked in, Chase threw out both arms and exclaimed,

"I am going to eat EVERYTHING GLUTEN!"

I was thinking more along the lines of "clog your arteries and drain your pocketbooks." We each have our own agenda, right?

Anyway, another sigh is being heaved by our little fam tonight. We are done. Now, we just get to sit back and enjoy watching the cold and flu season roll on in and wreak some havoc.

Oh, joy.